CHEER UP GATOR FANS! PLEASE CHEER UP! WHY WON’T YOU CHEER UP????? OK. Fine. So you don’t respond to screaming. Well then let me try to brighten your outlook about the Gators with some facts and rationality. The 2011 Florida Gator football season has been less than what we expected…or maybe some of you expected this, then in that case, it’s your fault for being realistic! The fact is, we can all agree this isn’t the season we wanted. So, as we plop down on our couches and eat our Thanksgiving dinner in front of the TV so we don’t have to talk to our family, we Gator fans have a lot to be thankful for despite this dark void of a season.
Thank God for Tennessee, Vanderbilt, and Kentucky
Where would Florida be without these three schools? Probably looking at a 3-9 season. Seeeeeeeeee? It could be waaaaaay worse. So be thankful that Florida’s going to a bowl game. It may be the Walgreens Chia Pet Bowl in Butte, Montana, but it’s a bowl, by golly.
Florida Isn’t OSU, Miami, PSU, Or Any Other School Involved In A Scandal
So many scandals in college football. So many programs under investigation and Florida isn’t one of them…yet. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY ‘YET’!?! DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING WE DON’T?” Calm down, Mr./Mrs. Worrypants. It’s naive to think Florida is squeaky clean, but let’s just enjoy the fact that the NCAA hasn’t been poking their nose around campus. I can handle a winless season more than knowing NCAA sanctions are coming down the road or the athletic department covered up a crime.
A Cornucopia Of Memes That Have Brought Us Laughter
Forget about their play on the field, it’s been a good year to write about this team off the field. You can’t say these Gators haven’t made us laugh. It hasn’t been hard to mine comedy gold from what this team has supplied us with. Let me run through the most popular memes: “It mean grind”, Muschamp Stare, “What’s a Padawan?”, and “I ain’t never been to Italy”. In addition to Jelani Jenkins tweeting his battle of wits with a roach, Muschamp letting Rainey talk to the media, Dominique Easley’s Chucky doll, Dominique Easley’s dancing, and Dominique Easley busting up a drunk Reggis Myles. Most people probably don’t find that last one funny. Now, I certainly don’t want any Gators assaulting anyone, but it seems to me Myles had it coming and any story where one of the details includes someone dropping their chicken wings in an altercation is funny to me. Those are just a few and I’m sure there are others that I forgot.
This team will be good and they will be exciting. And if the don’t win the SEC or make the Final Four, well, they’ll bridge the gap to baseball and softball season and both of those teams are really good and if they let us down, well, then it’ll be a long summer of drinking and fireworks and…that doesn’t sound half bad, now does it?
This one is really just in general. I will say though, the University of Florida has the best boobs I’ve seen.
The Future Is Bright
As has been pointed out by this blog and others, Florida’s 2012 recruiting class will be marvelous and robust. Expect Will Muschamp to haul in a top 3 class. Although, recruiting rankings are as reliable and accurate as astrology, palm reading, and those test you took in high school that were suppose to determine what profession you should pursue (why would I want to be a doctor if I think sick people are gross? THIS TEST DON’T KNOW ME!). The bottom line is bodies are coming. Florida will have a little teeny tiny bit more depth next year. It may be inexperienced depth, but it’s more than they have now. Add this talented class to the returning players who will have a year in Muschamp’s defense and Weis’ offense and it should translate into more wins next season. It SHOULD and if it doesn’t, well then I’ll meet you all back here in one year trying to shovel sunshine down your throat again–if I haven’t hung myself by then.
Have A Happy Thanksgiving, Gator Nation!